Ah, romance. It’s a love hate relationship, isn’t it? Here are some tips on how to keep a lockdown relationship alive.
What even is a relationship though? Is it just a situation that you get used to eventually? Having one person always there for you? What happens if there’s too much of that person and you don’t want to tarnish their self-image? And then you start asking yourself so many questions- just like these??!?!?! Here are some tips on how to keep a lockdown relationship alive, to avoid questions as such.
Relationships could be defined in multiple ways. A romantic partnership, a close friendship, a colleague you share occasional time with at work. At the end of the day, they are all connections that need to be tended to, appreciated, and respected. Like seeds that are planted, and eventually, sprout.
But let’s focus on that four letter word we all desire. And it’s not food 😉
It could be difficult to give all of your time and attention to one person, especially if you are used to independence. Now slap a pandemic lockdown on top of that. For some, it means getting the time to form a closer bond, for others it may sound like a loss of freedom, and be the breaking point.
I have been in a few relationships where both parties have realized that, it’s just not working out. But the irony is, that my strongest relationship is the one I started before lockdown, and managed to build stronger during a pandemic. We’ve now been together for a year and a half and counting!
It is always heartbreaking when you reach the point in a relationship, where one says “I have had enough, there is no more spark to give me the energy to keep this going.” Thats why I gathered some tips for you to try to avoid that, and give the relationship a bit more of a chance.
The irony is, that my strongest relationship is the one I started before lockdown, and managed to build stronger during a pandemic.
I remember February of 2020. I had just heard that the coronavirus, which we thought would never make its way over to us, had entered Europe. One month later- TOTAL SHUTDOWN.
It was (selfishly) the best moment I could have experienced when I was told that our store had to close and that there would be a countrywide lockdown. Maybe I should have been more worried, but I was so excited to have total alone time with my boyfriend. At that point, we had been together a little over 5 months, and living together (We started off as roommates, I never left, ya know the deal).
It was all fun and games at first, but eventually it started to feel like I had a role in the movie “Groundhog Day”.
Waking up, saying our usual hellos, having our usual breakfast, going on our usual walk.
Then came the usual frustrations, usual fights, tears and screams.
Living through it, you don’t see how this could ever come to an end, and you might even be having second thoughts about your relationship. I was not sure about much, but I was sure that I was sick of the usual.
#1 Communication is key to keep your lockdown relationship alive
Everything starts with communication. Realizing that there IS an issue, and it is OK to speak about it and try to come up with a solution.
“The problem that may arise is- men and women communicate (mostly) completely differently. While women like to replay their worries and needs back and forth to the smallest detail, men are looking for quick, pragmatic solutions.”
At the end of the day, we are all human. You may look at your partner and only see your relationship as a whole. But it is extremely important to validate your partner’s feelings, and see them as their own individual, who yearns for life, has emotions, goals, and ambitions just like you do. Once you let them know that, their sentiments are just as valuable and valid as your own, it is a big step in bringing your relationship forward.
#2 Understand each other’s space
I cannot stress enough, how important it is to understand each other’s space. Not doing so, creates a yo-yo effect. You are on top of each other every day. A few weeks later you get annoyed at each other, become distant and live in separate rooms. Then you miss each other. After that, you go back to being on top of each other every day.
Why can’t we just avoid that whole spiel?
#3 Build your own routines
It is ok if you and your partner do not want to do the same thing every day. Understanding each other’s space is another way to say, “I respect your desires, hobbies, needs.” Build your own routines.
#4 Split workrooms
What helped my relationship was splitting workrooms, and meeting up for cute coffee dates in the kitchen after a few hours. Then, made dinner plans for later that evening. You don’t realize how lovely it is to miss someone if they are always there. Maybe your partner feels the same way but is afraid to voice this. Meet them halfway.
“It’s the little things that count”
“It’s the little things that count” is a short sentence that goes a long way! I find this to be one of the most important details in keeping a relationship alive. It is also a way to set new standards.
Girl- don’t be afraid to ask your boyfriend on a date. Set up the table nicely, and enjoy a bottle of wine together! Maybe follow it with a movie or a nice bath. Offer massages, set up a painting studio in the corner, cook new recipes you found together. There is an endless array of activities that could be accomplished together, and allow beautiful memories to be formed.
It is human nature to strive for independence. But let me tell you, doing that makes you guys want to be on top of eachother. Missing each other, as I aforementioned, is a major key to keep a flame running, amongst other ways.
Splitting work rooms (actually assigning each other your designated space with an occasional switch off to keep the mind flowing), building your own routines, communicating, and making the little things count. This paves the road to a successful, happy, loving relationship.
At the end of the day
No one knows how long a relationship will last. It is important to build the relationship with yourself first, and then the one you share with a significant other. If there is love, there is a mutual understanding that this must be done.
If this is taken care of, there is a chance to be able to say, “this pandemic was shit, but we made it through together.” Accepting that there will be good days and there will be bad days is major. But all days should be supported. Most importantly, learn how to work with and appreciate each other while you have the ability to. Hopefully, these tips on how to keep a lockdown relationship alive could
“Those who can articulate their needs have an advantage. But to be able to express our own needs and desires, we must be aware of them ourselves first. The coronavirus pandemic is posing a challenge to relationships — but keeping that love alive is possible.”
*Some of this could apply to roommates as well. Without the sex. If you like 😉