Being a single is the shit! Stella explains why it’s wicked to be a single.
Especially during the Christmas period, many people are longing for a partner to be cuddled, snuggled and warmed up; to receive love and to give love. That’s okay but if we’re honest, most relationships are less happy and harmonious than we may think. Officially, more than 50 percent of men and women betray their partners. Scary, but not surprising as soon as a relationship becomes a habit. Dating apps make it even easier. Fidelity doesn’t mean a thing to most people. I’m curious to see the divorce rate increase in the next years.
That’s what I call a bright future! It’s got nothing to do with rose coloured glasses or true love! I prefer to stay on my own, to be honest! The trouble you save and how much better it is to enjoy your time as a single to the max has been summed up in my 36 credits:
- Your bed is all yours. Nobody is snoring next to you or holding you uncomfortably so you’ll always wake up with a neck pain.
- You don’t have to shave every day, especially in winter.
- Snogging as much as you want and who you want.
- You don’t have to attend boring couple parties, your couple party consists of your wine and yourself – perfect combo.
- You have more exciting stories to tell.
- Forget about separations – it saves you from tons of heartache.
- TV’s your, no compromise!
- You can hang out in your grubby look at home.
- Nobody betrays you.
- You can slurp, guff and burb as much as you like.
- You have plenty of time for your hobbies.
- Eat garlic and onions as much as you like.
- You don’t have to get up due to a wakeup call which is not yours.
- Buy as many pairs of shoes as you like.
- You don’t have to simulate a headache.
- No need to worry about anyone’s love.
- You can listen to the music you like, as loud as you like.
- When you get home after a tough work day, you can enjoy the peace.
- The bath room stays like it is, and nothing can change it.
- A sorrow shared is a sorrow halved? Nothing of the sort, a relationship causes twice as much problems, therefore: sorrow unshared is sorrow halved!
- Your wardrobe is yours, and only yours!
- You don’t have to be jealous.
- You have plenty of time for your friends.
- You may use your mobile phone without anyone complaining.
- No need to give an account of where you’ve been and of when you’ll come home.
- No parents-in-law.
- Enjoy as many one-night-stands as you like.
- You may relocate any time.
- You may smell alcohol when going to bed.
- Life is cheaper because you’re invited everywhere.
- You can watch your favourite TV series at pleasure.
- You wear sexy lingerie only when you’re up to it.
- You may emigrate any time.
- You have plenty of time for yourself.
- Nobody sets a limit to your creativity.
- You can fall in love every week anew.
Thus, ladies and gentlemen… don’t sing the blues just because you’re a single, it’s a good reason to celebrate instead!
Of course, as many things are much nicer in twos. And maybe he exists, the one and only, who lets the world shine brightly. But until he bumps into you, telling you with big, heart-sparkling eyes “I finally found you!“ you could easily enjoy great free-time activities together with your friends. And when you need help, your family and friends are on the spot. You get it right on your own, somehow, or with a little help from your beloved ones. As long as it takes, your family will compensate the love that’s missing.
I know, you have much love inside of you. You’d like to give it to someone and get it back as well, but there’s a simple trick: love yourself! Nobody’s love could be more beautiful and truer than your own. Love yourself unconditionally and the day will come: when this person who appreciates you, and loves you back enters your life. Only when you’re ready because it’s important to appreciate your own value!
Till then, I give you reason number 37 along the way: the vibrator never falls asleep right after.
Translation: Danielle
